5 Tips for Relationship Building
Meeting new people. Building relationships. An essential skill no matter what you are pursuing. If we start looking at everyone as walking on the same ground, drinking from the same water source, as valuable sources of information, then abundance will surround you constantly. Every person adds value. Everyone is unique. We still have to be particular about who we spend time with, who we pitch our idea too, and the teammates we decide to collaborate with; because our effort and energy should be complimented. It takes practice and effort, but building relationships in personal and professional life is one of the most satisfying ventures we can embark on. Here’s five helpful tips to give you the confidence to get out there and explore.
1. Find common ground. You already have something in common, you are in the same place. If you are at an event, simply ask “so what brings you here?” or “what do you think (of the event) so far?”. Make sure questions are open ended so to invite conversation. Get to know a bit about their background and how that relates to their attendance. If the conversation is stale, it means you are not a fit, so kindly say with a big smile, “it was nice meeting you, I will let you get back to (meeting other people / doing x)”. And onward.
2. Don’t talk too much, LISTEN. Be interested not interesting. Listening requires focus. Remove your phone, your inner voice, all distractions and bring your mind to the present. It is obvious when someone is not present, their mind and eyes wander. Focus on the person in front of you. Do they look comfortable, excited, bored, etc. Body language tells a lot. You are not stuck meeting this person, but give it a chance. Don’t talk too much. Just ask questions that steer the convo. Reply when they ask you something. We spend enough time in our heads obsessing about ourselves, so use this as an opportunity to escape your own thoughts and enjoy the company of others.
3. Give. When you really listen, then you have the ability to give. Before you ever take, make sure to give. Giving means adding value to the other persons life. Making “giving” first nature, will bring so much to your life. Start by walking the subway and offering help to carry a mothers stroller. Hold doors or elevators for strangers. Be active in finding opportunities to give. When you meet new people you will be used to the practice of giving. Giving can come in all different forms. Telling them about a great new restaurant, summarizing a relevant article you recently read or suggesting a cool event to attend. Listen to what this person is saying, expressing and supporting, then you will know when and how to add value.
4. Have fun!!!!!!! Everyone wants to have fun! That never changes. While it seems to become harder as we get older, more inundated with responsibility and fear, we forget that ultimately we just want to be happy and have fun! So why don’t we make meeting new people a game. Go with it. Smile. Be funny. Have fun! That is the best way to add value to someone’s life!
5. Move on. You aren’t going to click with everyone, so don’t force it. Even if that person has something you really want, if it seems like an insurmountable work to break the ice and get to know them, don’t lose yourself over it. There are so many other good opportunities out there. If you are in a crummy mood and feel off your game, give yourself permission. Just like in a game; you win some, you lose some. Don’t get down when you strike out, just move on and conserve the energy for the next opportunity.
Now get out there!
Special thanks to Dahlia Green, Director of Community at TechDay